I lent one of my favorite food books to someone about a year ago, but can’t remember who. This isn’t unusual — probably half of the things I own currently reside with friends and acquaintances. So this weekend, I just decided to buy another copy of the book.
Since I’m a shop-local kind of guy, my first stop was Changing Hands Bookstore yesterday, but unfortunately they didn’t have it. So today I found myself driving past a Barnes & Noble. I found the book there, but …
B&N clerk: “How you doing today?”
Me: “Fine. Just this book, please.”
B&N clerk: “Are you a member of our book club? You can get —”
Me: ” No thanks.”
B&N clerk: “Well, just so you know what the club is, for an annual fee of $25—”
Me: “I’m really not interested.”
B&N clerk: “You understand that you could save as much as—”
Me: “Look, I’d just like the book. There’s a long line of people waiting.”
B&N clerk: “Could I get your e-mail address?”
Me: “No.”
B&N clerk: “What?”
Me: “No.”
B&N clerk: “Why not?”
Me: “Because you don’t need my e-mail address to sell me this book.”
B&N clerk: “Well, we like to keep our customers informed of—”
Me: “Actually, I don’t have e-mail.”
B&N clerk: “You don’t have e-mail?”
Me: “Nope. I’m not very ‘techie.’”
B&N clerk: “What kind of person doesn’t have e-mail?”
Me: “I didn’t want to say this, but I’m too poor to afford e-mail. But thanks a lot for embarrassing me in front of this long line of people.”
B&N clerk: “OK, that’ll be $32.34.”
Next time I’ll buy it on Amazon.com.





