Three friends and I take our seats in the sun-drenched, all-white dining room of Asia de Cuba, the Asian-Cuban fusion restaurant at the ultra-trendy Mondrian hotel in downtown Scottsdale.

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, and the glass wall between the dining room and patio has been opened, allowing the sights and sounds of ArtFest to drift in from the green grounds of Scottsdale Mall.

The occasion of our visit? The return of Asia de Cuba’s dim sum brunch, offered 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sundays. It’s difficult to imagine a more perfect atmosphere, until …

CRASH!

A ceiling fixture inexplicably falls onto the elegantly set table next to ours, causing everyone to jump. Fortunately, the table is unoccupied and no one is hurt.

Maybe it’s an omen, we joke. Perhaps some unknown spirit is telling us to go elsewhere. Ha, ha.

It doesn’t take long, however, to start thinking the joke is on us.

First off, if you’re looking for the type of dim sum where carts of food are wheeled around for diners to peruse and select, you’ll be disappointed.

Asia de Cuba’s version of dim sum is more along the lines of a tapas bar, where you order small plates from a menu of a dozen items. There’s also a menu of regular brunch dishes.

We start with Sambal chicken lollipops ($9, shown below), four small drumsticks with an orange honey sauce. The Sambal and honey provide a sweet and peppery punch, but it’s marred by the overly doughy breading and fatty chicken.

Similarly, five-spiced pork papas rellenas ($9), four fried potato balls with too-small caches of meat, are only marginally improved by a nice mango barbecue sauce.

Our third selection, a duck quesadilla ($9, shown above) with orange salsa, is better, but our next, shrimp-and-chorizo empanadas ($9), are — surprise — very doughy. And none of us can find or taste any chorizo.

After the arrival of two unimpressive vegetable summer rolls ($8), we decide to give up on the dim sum and shift to the regular brunch menu to satisfy our still-hungry stomachs.

Three slices of cinnamon raisin french toast ($14) are OK, once we scrape away a mound of apple-rum compote. A Belgian waffle ($14) is no better than IHOP’s version.

Cuban Benedict ($15, pictured at right), two poached eggs with bacon-like Serrano ham and a chipotle hollandaise sauce, is perhaps the best dish we try, although, in fairness, the bar has been set pretty low.

I suppose there are plenty of people for whom Asia de Cuba’s cachet is worth ponying up more than $130 for a very average — at best — brunch for four.

Not me. The next time a helpful spirit urges me to leave, I’m listening.

>> Asia de Cuba at the Mondrian Scottsdale, 7353 E. Indian School Road, is open 6:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday, 6:30 a.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday. (480) 308-1131.